To honor Bill’s memory, I read this letter and (kind of!) enjoy my annual shot of Jose Cuervo. I laugh and I cry, but I am always comforted and reminded of just how lucky I am to have given and received unconditional love. It’s also the reminder I need that it’s safe to come out of “the cave”.
From: William Lichtig [email@example.com]
Sent: Monday, July 25, 2005 10:08 PM
We have reached the point all too quickly in my trek to the end of my life where everything that happens to me is not just a safety issue to both of us or, a health issue to me, but it seems literally life and death now. Sucks, doesn’t it?
My outside looks almost normal to people sprinkled with an occasional thunder storm that you have weathered with strength, dignity, and conviction, much stronger than I have.
The doctors can only guesstimate and treat by what they see and measure, but the soul makes the real BIG decisions on what happens to a person.
My body has taken control of itself, away from me, so all that is left of me that I can still control is my soul, my essence if you will, and even control of that is wavering more and more on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. Everyone has told me that my landing will be peaceful and quiet, with dignity. Can I just tell you the trip is anything but, sort of like our daytrips in Mexico!
I will miss your laugh, your snuggling, but most of all, your soul, your essence, that what makes you, you.
There is so much more I could say, but you know in your heart how much I loved you, through thick and thin. The fact that you have stuck by my side throughout this ordeal, being my voice when I could not speak and my staunchest advocate, has showed me your strong will, your dedication to our relationship and most of all, your love for me.
I am extremely sorry to leave our relationship this soon and this way, but we fulfilled our vows to each other, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.
I love you.